Houston, we have a problem.

Okay, so today was eventful.

First, Kellen almost died. Well, maybe that's being slightly overdramatic, but still! We were following, (We being me and Tiffany) him out of our apartment complex and I wasn't really paying much attention when like, three cars just slam into each other, right in front of me! I got so scared because I thought it was Kellen, I almost peed my seat. But, luckily, it wasn't - it was the three cars directly in front of him.

So, I get out and Tiffany calls the police and I go check to make sure everyone's cool. There's an older woman, maybe like 75? Stuck in her car. It was the scariest thing I'd ever seen. Everyone was just standing around in shock, I guess, while this woman is just screaming her head off. So, I tried to open the passenger side door because the driver's door is pinned with another car, and the passenger door is like, crunched shut. It's not budging. I try to get these two guys that are just standing around to help, but to no avail does the door open. So, we unlock it and I climb in the back and just pet this woman until the police came. It was really scary.

It really really makes you think about what could happen in a slipt second, you know. Like, have you taken anything or anyone for granted? Did you tell everyone that you needed to that you care? Did you take all the risks you wanted to take? It's really scary to me to think that it could happen to me, like I could die, and have so many strings left untied.

So, what do I do? I go out with Robert. My take-charge attitude extended throughout the evening, until it got to the point where I thought he might kiss me. Then I freeze and freak out sorta, and then proceed to leave. What is wrong with me?? We spent all night laughing and joking around and flirting, and then when the bank rolls in, I freeze. I am such a loser.

So, then I drove around for about an hour, as I am want to do. And just drive. And drive and listened to Josh Kelly and for some reason, although I'm not sure why, I almost cried. I think I was just angry at myself for being such a loser, and for confusing the poor boy. I mean, I wasn't crazy obvious about it, some guy came up and started talking to him, and I casually got my things and said my goodbyes, etc. It wasn't like I screamed in his face and ran off.

It's just so hypocritical of me. First, I think about how precious life is, and how you can't take moments for granted, because it can be swept from you in a minute, then I run scared from a great oppertunity. I am such a hypocrite.

It's just weird because at the time, I wasn't conscious of my actions at all; it all felt very natural. Hey, he's going to kiss you, you need to run now. Maybe I'm just defective. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe it was bad timing, or bad lighting, or bad chicken. Who knows.

But, really, if I'm going to adopt a take-charge attitude, I really need to be consistant and apply it to all facets of my life, and not just the ones that are convienent for me to feel that way with.

Oh yea, and goodbye Friends... It's been a good 10 years, and I'll miss you, especally you, Joey, with your moo points. It's like a cow's opinion.

Oh well. Looks like I might get a job at Peir 1, so at least the day wasn't a complete waste.

Word. Work tomorrow, so I'll probably update again pretty late. Sorry.

Me